Are Money Problems Pulling Your Marriage Apart?
Money problems are one of the main reasons a marriage can get into trouble. It is hard to keep a marriage happy when all you seem to think about is how to pay the bills and keep a roof over your head.
However, you can be happy without being wealthy as long as you manage the financial side of your marriage sensibly and don’t get into debt for things you don’t really need. Arguments over money problems between husband and wife are often caused not by a lack of money but how one of the marriage partners spends it.
The sad fact is that money to some people is there to be spent no matter what the circumstances. They have no thought of tomorrow and need constant gratification in the form of spending. They are wasteful with money and buy things that are not really needed. In fact, spending money is like an addiction to some people as gambling is to others.
Marriage and debt problems.
When money is short, the reckless partner often borrows money at high rates for non-essentials because they want something and simply do not think or even care about how much it will cost them. They rack up massive credit card debts. They want something, they want it now, and nobody is going to stop them.The reckless spender is like a gambler who goes on tilt when he is losing, out of control and emotionally driven.
A financially inept partner will also get high-interest loans that they really can’t afford because they haven’t planned for the inevitable money emergencies that crop up now and then. Paying high interest on loans will only increase the debt and it can rapidly become a mountain that will never be reduced.
Bad financial management like this in a marriage has a habit of developing into a major cause of trouble between husband and wife. The fact is, some people just don’t know how to manage money properly and this eventually causes all sorts of problems for the marriage. Mounting debt problems cause lots of stress and marital discord.
When one partner is haphazard with finances and the other one is more sensible then the difference in the way they handle money comes to the fore and causes trouble for the marriage.
The partner who is more careful with money sees their spouse wasting money and running up debts all over the place. However, when he or she tries to talk about the money problems they get called a miser just for trying to bring their finances back under control. Not being able to talk frankly about financial problems with your spouse can cause simmering tensions that will eventually explode into an argument.
Money as a source of control in a marriage.
They say having control of the money is like having power and one of the partners often takes charge of the finances as a source of control in the marriage. In fact, this is a favourite tactic of a control freak. Holding the purse strings in a marriage is one of the many ways they exert control over their partner. They dictate how the money is to be spent and won’t allow any say in the matter.
The problem with this is that when one partner handles all the finances without letting their spouse have a say about it then conflict is almost inevitable. Where money is concerned, both partners should contribute when it is affecting their marriage negatively.
There is no doubt that money problems can make for a troubled marriage and when this is a result of the behaviour of one of the partners this has to be changed before it brings the marriage to its knees, both financially and emotionally. It may not be easy to do this, but it has to be done because, like an unpaid debt, the problem will only get bigger as time goes by.