Seeking a divorce is the last resort in a broken marriage. No matter the circumstances or reasoning, divorces can be extremely tough for all parties involved, so it helps to have a divorce solicitor, similar to these Denver family law solicitors, on your side to help you through it.

If you’re looking for guidance on what to do before seeking a divorce, continue reading below. If you’re based in Surrey and seeking legal advice, find out more here.

1. Talk to a Marriage Counselor or other professional who may be able to help you.

Even if you don’t think there’s hope for the marriage, divorce counselling can help you discover what went wrong, how to cope, and how to pick up the pieces and go on. Don’t wait for your spouse to participate. If you don’t know how to find a qualified counsellor, our firm will be glad to recommend one, or you can check out the directory of professionals at stayhappilymarried.com. Your employment, social or religious contacts might also provide leads. You would be amazed at how many people see a therapist. Another way a lot of people deal with divorce is through self-care. From teeth whitening to slimming and gyms to yoga. It is important to focus on the fact that marriage breaks down; it is not anyone’s fault.

2. Talk to a solicitor before you do anything.

Even if you don’t hire a solicitor, like the Sisemore Law firm, to handle your separation or divorce, you would be well advised to get as much information as you can before discussing divorce with your spouse. There’s a lot to know about divorce in North Carolina our laws are complex and even the simplest situation can be very confusing to families already in distress. Actions you take now may very well affect the outcome of your divorce (see #3), and you need to understand your options ahead of time not sometime down the road when it may be too late to alter the outcome. Click here to find solicitors who are well-versed in the intricacies of North Carolina divorce law.

3. Do not move out of the marital home without talking to a solicitor first.

Leaving the house without a good reason may cause you to pay alimony or may result in your inability to collect alimony. By contacting good divorce lawyers, or wherever you might be searching for a lawyer, you can get the best deal regarding your home. If you leave the house, you may also be unable to return until after a court divides the property. This process might take more than a year. The best advice is to stay in the house until after you talk with a solicitor unless your spouse is violent. If your spouse is violent, you must take all steps necessary to protect yourself and your children.

4. If you have been involved in any extramarital affairs, talk to a lawyer before you discuss this with your spouse or anyone else.

In this case, honesty may not be the best policy. In addition to the fact that adultery is illegal in some states, admission of an affair can have other dire consequences. If your spouse is a candidate for alimony, any illicit sexual behaviour on your part (during the marriage, which includes the time you are separated) could end up costing you thousands in additional alimony payments.

5. Take concrete steps to safeguard your assets before you and your spouse begin discussing divorce.

One of these steps is to take possession of certain assets during separation, especially any assets you wish to continue to use, such as furniture and vehicles, and those assets that might be liquidated by your spouse, including precious gems and stones, other collectables, cash, and bearer bonds. Ultimately, knowing how to protect your finances during the divorce process sooner rather than later is the key to a successful divorce. With this in mind, reaching out to a local law firm for additional financial advice from a legal perspective is almost always in your best interest.

Another self-protective step is to file what is known as a Lis Pendens in the Deeds Office of any county where you and your spouse own real property. The lis pendens puts third parties on notice of your claim to have an interest in the real estate against which the lis pendens is docketed. The lis pendens is a notice of pending litigation that may affect real property. An adequately recorded and served lis pendens clouds the title to the property, preventing an effective sale of the property behind your back. The rules regarding a lis pendens contain precise requirements, all spelt out in sections 1-116 and the following sections of the North Carolina General Statutes.

A third possible step to protect the assets of your marriage is to get an injunction restraining your spouse from transferring or otherwise disposing of any property covered by the restraining order. Your solicitor can also use an injunction to get your separate property returned to you, where your individual property is in your spouse’s possession and the spouse refuses to give it to you. The equitable distribution statute also provides a means for you to obtain an interim distribution of marital property, pending a final resolution of the property matter. Such an interim allocation could, for instance, give you much-needed funds on which to live.

Other protective measures you might consider in your divorce planning include: (1) protecting your credit rating by freezing or closing joint cards and by blocking your spouse’s access to other joint credit such as a home equity loan; (2) closing joint bank accounts and opening accounts in your own, individual name; (3) changing the name of the responsible party on utility and other bills; and (4) spending where possible your spouse’s separate property first, marital property next, and your own separate property last.

While this list will help you get started on the right track, it is not a complete list of everything you need to do and know if you are considering a divorce. For more information about the rights and duties of separating and divorcing husbands and wives, click here. You’ll find a complete law library, downloadable divorce forms, a legal fee calculator, a child support calculator, lists of professionals who can help you and stories from people like you who have survived divorce.