Get Your Partner To Be Attracted To You Again

10 Tips To Get Your Partner To Be Attracted To You Again


It happens to the best of us, for one reason or another your partner is not physically attracted to you anymore.

Your partner may be stressed or distracted, emotionally shutdown due to a build up of relationship deficiencies and toxicities including loss of respect or judgment of you, or he/she is having an affair or the two of you are on a relationship break or are already broken up.

Whatever the case may be if the attraction was once there then it is possible to get that attraction back.

The following are 10 Simple Tips that can reignite that flame in your relationship:

1) Be Detached:

When we are attached to anything in our life, we have a tendency to make decisions based on fear or desperation when it comes to what it is that we are attached to and nothing repels a person more than someone who is coming across as desperate. So when you get into a state of detachment you win in at least two ways

a) You are sensible enough to make rational, functional decisions

b)You do not care about the outcome of the situation so you will come across as stable and confident.

2) Be Confident:

Speaking of being confident, the reality is being confident is attractive and appealing and these are the two things that you want to be to your partner. So fake it if you have to but make it your mission to look, feel and just plain be confident about yourself.

3) Be Just a Tad Flirty:

Less is more – flirt just a little bit so your partner gets a hint of what you are like when you flirt. Be like a Movie Trailer Teaser so your partner is left wanting more, even just simple things like if you are a woman – flipping your hair back or playing with your necklace as examples.

4) Look Good Without Over Doing It:

Getting a complete make-over and plastic surgery gives the impression that you have an agenda to get your partner back and/or attracted to you and if he/she is not ready,this will push him/her away, so just subtly dress a little bit more provocatively and put some highlights in your hair and a little more make-up, maybe a new perfume or cologne etc.

5) Match Level of Physical Commitment:

At our Centre we talk about Matching Level of Commitment meaning that if you pursue someone the other person’s 1st instinct if he (she) is at a different level of commitment is to run away – therefore you must match his/her level of commitment.

The same goes for physical commitment, if he/she steps back, you step back, he/she moves in closer,you move in closer and then every once in a while throw in a little brush of a leg or an arm “by accident” so there is a little element of surprise.

6) Compliment:

If your partner has closed him/herself off physically from you there is usually an underlying emotional reason, so might as well make any interaction that you have with your partner an emotionally pleasant one and give compliments to your partner whenever possible without over doing it, this will warm him/her up both emotionally and physically.

7) Be Unconditional:

Let’s face it the world is a conditional place, so one of the best ways to help let your partner’s guard down is by being unconditionally loving towards him or her, no matter what he (she) is doing or saying or not doing or saying – love him/her anyway.

Even if you don’t say it out loud, make a decision to feel this way towards him (her) as well as not criticize him/her about anything and he (she) will begin to physically loosen up as well as emotionally begin letting his/her guard down.

8) Be Fun Without Overdoing It:

O.k. no swinging off the chandelier, being too much fun indicates that you are trying too hard, so just be fun in an easy, breezy relaxed way and your partner will follow suit. Plus laughter is a great bonding experience and promotes the release of the feel good brain chemical Serotonin, so your partner will be able to connect and have a sense of well-being around you.

9) Validate:

Nothing shuts a person down more than constantly being invalidated and since everything is made up of energy. Your partner’s interest and energy for sex is going take a plunge as well, so try out an experiment and see what happens if you keep validating your partner even if he/she is completely wrong in his (her) views and see how much more affectionate and attracted he (she) will be towards you overtime.

10) Be Open To Others Flirting With You:

You may be one of those people who are 100% loyal and attentive to your partner and the thought of you flirting with others makes you cringe. However, in this situation a little, just a touch of flirting with others is just what it takes to make your partner realize that other people find you attractive.

A little flirting with others will get your partner thinking that he or she may be missing out on something or is going to miss out on something if he (she) doesn’t start reconsidering his/her current decision of not giving you the time of day romantically, physically or sexually.

So these tips may sound simple but simplicity is a good thing so that you do not push your partner further away, with just the right balance of detachment and interest before you know it you will literally be back in the arms of your partner.

Melody Chase is a Relationship Counsellor and Writer at the Centre For Life Management. If you wish to or relationship alone, we can help! Check out our breakthrough Counsellor in a Box” system at